


The Thing About Hell

by Anonymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Extremely Dubious Consent, Gen, One Shot, Past Alastair/Dean Winchester, Post-Hell Dean Winchester, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Short One Shot, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 23:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30029241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Here’s the thing about Hell: you don’t get to forget.
Relationships: Alastair & Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27
Collections: anonymous





	The Thing About Hell

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh. This kind of just... happened.  
> I'll probably write more Alastair/Dean in this series, because it's a dynamic I absolutely love to write.  
> Warnings: implied/referenced rape/extremely dubious consent, unsafe sex as a coping mechanism, PTSD, one line which references drug use.  
> Thanks for reading, hope you like it, and I love hearing from y'all!

(Here’s the thing about Hell: you don’t get to forget.) 

Dean claws his way out of his own grave. That’s the easy part. 

The hard part comes when people start asking. Bobby, Sam, anyone who knows anything knows Dean Winchester’s been to Hell and back. And they all want to know what Hell is like.

“I don’t remember,” Dean says, Dean says, Dean says. “Complete blank.”

“Thank God,” Ellen says, and Dean has to throw back a shot of whiskey to keep the laughter down.  
  


(Here’s the thing about Hell: you spent more time there than on Earth.)

Sam tells Dean to hand him a knife. 

Dean says, “Yes, sir,” on instinct. He hands it over. 

The knife falls out of Sam’s hand. 

“Dean?” Sam asks. His voice is vulnerable, suddenly. 

Alastair ripped gaping chunks into Dean’s memories, but Dean remembers how to deal with this. 

“I’m fine, Sammy,” Dean says, Dean says, Dean says.

(Here’s the thing about Hell: you miss it.)

“Where’s the girl?” Dean asks, Dean asks, Dean asks. 

The vampire screams, and Dean feels Alastair’s smile slide onto his face.

(Here’s the thing about Hell: you miss _him_.)

Dean goes out to bars and finds the kind of men he really shouldn’t mess with. He lets them buy him drinks, lets them make comments about how pretty he is, lets them put their hands around his throat. 

“Fuck me,” Dean says, Dean says, Dean says. 

Sam finds Dean cuffed to the headboard in a hotel room. Dean’s naked, bruised, streaked with come, and high out of his mind. It’s the closest to at peace Dean’s felt since the last time he tore into a new soul.

Sam shoots the other two men in the room through the head.

(Here’s the thing about Hell: it follows you.)

“You had promise,” Alastair says, and Dean wishes Sam would look surprised.

(Here’s the thing about Hell: everyone asks if you remember.

Here’s the question no one ever thinks to ask: do you want to forget?)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr as crucifixinhell.


End file.
